Giving "a snail's pace" new meaning

A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless because she refuses to read this blog, sent me a link to an article about snails on CNN. But these aren’t just any snails, these are Giant African Snails and according to CNN they really like to have sex. Or they like to do whatever it is that snails do to reproduce… I have a feeling they just run over each other’s slime trail and new snails spontaneously combust at the intersections. Who knows? But after 7 years in one family’s Miami yard, there were 18,000 of these enormous snails hanging around. Gross! It took 10 years to get rid of them all, says the USDA. Now they are back. The USDA’s Safeguarding, Intervention and Trade Compliance Program has seized several specimens from schools in the midwest.

These things eat 500 kinds of plants and can transmit meningitis in their ‘mucous’ (read: slime, eww). Needless to say they are evil little buggers and will cost you $1000 if you are caught in illegal possession of one. But even more frightening is they might eat your household pets and small children, so watch out.